


Oneshots and Drabbles

by angelheartbeat



Series: oneshotstuck [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colour soulmate, Couch Cuddles, Cuddles, Depressed Rose, Depression, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, Flustered, Human quadrants, Humanstuck, Injury, M/M, Meeting in a forest, Movie Night, OT4, Polyamory, Quadrant Vacillation, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Windicuffs, awkward first meetings, oblivious dirk, oneshots, soulmate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-07 09:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11056152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: A collection of oneshots, drabbles and random works updated whenever.Requests always open! Drop me a comment! Anything except smut!





	1. dirkjake - late night forest injuries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk comes across an injured Englishman in unlikely circumstances, and manages to make a connection, no thanks to his bullshit robot.

"FRICK! FUCKING BUGGER! FUCKING SHUCKS BUSTER AND GAD FUCKING ZOOKS!"

The sound of a young male British voice loudly yelling outdated British slang in an abandoned forest at 1am was not something Dirk expected to hear. So naturally, he was curious.

The voice kept yelling, so the blond began to pick his way through the undergrowth, stumbling a few times due to it being so dark, especially with his trademark shades. Also, probably due to it being 1am and him not having slept properly in days.

As he walked, Dirk pondered just what the hell someone else was doing out here. He knew what he was doing out here - insomnia was a bitch and walking in the empty forest sometimes helped calm him down - but he had never before now heard anyone else in the forest as well, just his own breathing and footsteps accompanied by the crunch and snap of leaves and twigs below his feet.

The voice quieted down to mutterings Dirk could barely hear. Confusion and panic clutched his insides, and he found himself hoping this complete stranger he hadn't even seen was okay. Curiosity was so deeply gnarled in his stomach by that point that he was rushing before the voice faded completely, and he didn't notice the tree root twisted across the ground, malevolently waiting for someone to trip.

And trip Dirk did.

He let out a rather unmanly yelp, falling head over heels and crashing into a tree, before beginning to fall again, further than he'd think was possible. It felt like he  crashed into every tree in the vicinity, and he just knew he was getting scratches and bruises from the amount he was smashing into things, but his brain was too scrambled to tell if he had broken anything.

Eventually he shuddered to a stop, finding himself aching and lying on his side. Nothing appeared to be immediately wrong, so he pushed himself upright and began to take inventory of his body parts, confirming that nothing had been broken or damaged beyond being heavily cut and bruised. A trail of blood was slowly oozing out of his nose, and he was fairly sure his glasses were cracked, but overall he seemed... pretty okay.

He was pulled out of his own medical assessment by the British voice that had brought him here speaking again.

"I say! Are you alright?"

Glancing over, Dirk's eyes widened. There sat quite possibly the most beautiful individual he had ever laid his eyes on. Black locks framed a sweet but manly face, and his body was certainly nothing to scoff at. The sight was vaguely marred by perfect hands clasping a nose, blood dripping between the fingers, and a oddly twisted leg trapped under the man's body.

Dirk was caught off for a moment, during which the stranger looked at him expectantly, not moving his hands from his nose. "Um... Yeah, I'm alright. What about you? You dont look it."

Letting out a pained chuckle, the man finally removed a hand from his nose and waved it dismissively, revealing a nose that was crooked and bleeding in a way it probably shouldn't be. "I'm sure I'm fine! Bit of a shock, tumbling down there!" He pointed at something behind Dirk, who turned to see.  
Behind him was a steep wall, essentially, littered with knobbed tree roots and twisting trees themselves. At the top was the gnarled tree root that had tripped him, mockingly foreboding. He groaned and turned back to the stranger, who was shifting and wincing, probably in an attempt to alleviate weight from the unnaturally twisted limb trapped under his form. When Dirk looked back at him he arranged his features into those resembling nonchalance, probably in an attempt to not seem hurt.

"Well, I'm Dirk, Dirk Strider. What's... what's your name?"

"Jake English, pleasure to make your acquaintance! What are you doing out here at such a late hour?"

"I could ask you the same question."

They looked at each other for a second before breaking out into small giggles, even though it hadn't even been funny. Dirk was immediately warming up to this Jake, but he most definitely didn't believe Jake's insistence that he was okay.

"Well, I'm out here because I'm an insomniac and sometimes it helps me calm down. You?" Dirk eventually responded.

"Hah, I just dont really have much of a concept of time. Leads to some rather nasty consequences, I must say!"

Deciding to skip past all the awkward icebreaking, Dirk pointed at the leg trapped under Jakes body. "So what's up with your leg?"

Jake sighed, shoulders slumping as he realised he'd been caught out. A hand still covered his nose, even though it was probably pretty useless at this point. "It's broken. And I dont have the tools to set it right with me just now, which is a bit of a buggering problem."

"So you're just gonna sit here and wait for it to heal, huh?"

"No! But, to tell the truth... I'm rather glad someone else is out here. I was dreading the prospect of dragging myself through the forest until I found someone else awake and begged for help. Not many people are awake at 1am, and waiting in the forest with a broken leg isn't exactly my idea of a good time!"

"Should I call an ambulance or something..?"

Jake gestured around them at the thick forest, laughing airily, but Dirk could catch the crack of pain behind his chuckles. "You think an ambulance can drive through this lot? I admire your optimism! Besides, I could set this right myself if I had my medical supplies, I dont need some random paramedic doing it for me. It's just the small issue of returning home, that's all."

Dirk was vaguely aware of his jaw hanging slack, and quickly rectified that, only speaking again once his face was correctly placed in its usual blank expression. "You know how to fix broken bones?"

"But of course! In fact..." Jake laughed again, and then placed his hands on his nose, bracing himself, before pushing it back into place with a sickening crack that made Dirk shudder. The Brit only flinched and wrinkled his now correctly placed nose a little, before flashing Dirk a wide smile. "See? Legs are a little harder, so.." He grimaced and made a vague hand gesture, but Dirk got what he meant.

"How'd you know how to do that?"

"A gentleman cant give away all his secrets, now can he?" Jake laughed again, and Dirk thought he could definitely get used to that sound. "I'm just joking, of course. I was raised by my grandma on a deserted island! It's just in the education quota. She died when I was a child, but she was a jolly grand lady before she passed! Taught me all I know!"

"An.. abandoned... island?"

"That's what I said!"

Shaking his head slightly, Dirk chuckled, and then pushed himself off the forest floor, brushing leaves and dirt from his jeans. He looked down at Jake, who remained on the forest floor, leg still twisted unnaturally underneath him. "You okay if I pick you up?"

"Goodness, well, yes I suppose so! If I may question why..?" Jake asked, as Dirk knelt down and picked him up with a little difficulty, adjusting him until Jake was comfortably in his arms bridal-style, the Englishman automatically wrapping his arms around Dirk's neck to anchor himself. 

"I'm gonna carry you out, of course. What, you think I'd just leave and let you sit here until you die of natural causes or get killed by wolves? Uncool, bro."

"Well thats very sweet, Mr Strider, but I dont intend to be an inconvenience!"

"It's alright. It's made my forest walk a lot more interesting."

Dirk started walking, trying not to jostle Jake too much, especially when he noticed how limply the man's leg was hanging. He was acutely aware of the way Jake's face twisted into a wince at nearly every step, despite how he tried to keep up a brave smile.

"So, Mr Strider, if I could ask you a question as a equilibrium to your query about my medical knowledge?" Jake asked after a moment, voice shaky, interrupting the steady crunch of leaves and twigs underfoot.

"You can just call me Dirk, you know. And go ahead," Dirk said vacantly, trying to reorient himself and direct himself towards where he knew his car was parked. "You dont have a car or anything parked anywhere, do you?"

"No, no car, just me and my two legs! Now, if I may inquire just why on earth you're sporting sunglasses in the middle of a forest past midnight? And cracked ones, at that?"

Dirk laughed. He wondered when that question was going to come along. "For the fashion statement. God. Nah, its because my eyes are hella sensitive to light, even this low light, plus I guess I just feel kinda naked without them? Theyre not meant to be cracked. That happened when I fell down that fucking death wall. Do you always accept strangers offers to carry you home, or do you have any common sense?"

"Well, you seemed nice enough.."

"It's always the nice ones that get you. Who knows, maybe I'm a serial killer?" Dirk noted the look of fear on Jake's face at that, and quickly tried to fix the situation. "I'm not! I'm really not, I swear I'm just a nice dude trying to do a nice thing. I'm not gonna kill you. If I was going to I probably would have already, yknow, in the huge-ass forest where nobody can hear anyone scream." Alright, that just made him look even more scared. "Shit, I'm making this worse. I can put you down if you want."

"No, no, um, its quite alright! I'll make my own judgement when I see where you're taking me."

Dirk didnt respond to that, too busy trying to navigate his way out of the forest and not jolt Jake too much. Jake was just too busy trying to keep up his courageous smile - Dirk wondered why he was bothering. If he had broken his leg that badly, he'd probably just say _fuck the emotionless mask_ and at least let himself complain about it, but all that he heard from Jake was the occasional sharp inhale when Dirk accidentally hit his broken leg against a tree or something. He briefly wondered if Jake was trying to impress him or something, and, well, if he was then it was working. 

Eventually, after what felt like forever, Dirk stumbled out of the forest, upon his beloved car, and exhaled a sigh of relief at the sight of it. His arms were starting to ache. 

Jake seemed to sigh in relief as he was deposited in the passenger seat as well, letting his leg relax and seemingly enjoying the soft seats. Dirk slid into the drivers seat and started up the car, and was immediately greeted with a most unwelcome robotic voice.

Hello there, Dirk. Whos this? If he is a potential sexual partner, I can play some mood music, but I would also warn you - he appears to have a broken leg, which might put a bit of a damper on any sexual encounters the two of you have. 

Dirk groaned and slammed his head against the steering wheel, accidentally depressing the horn, resulting in the car letting out an angry beep. Jake looked shocked as all hell, frowning at the dashboard, where the spoken words had appeared on a screen in a wall of red text.

"What on earth is that?" he asked, poking at the screen, and Dirk lifted his head, sighing and massaging the bridge of his nose. 

"That," he said exasperatedly, "is Lil Hal. Hes an asshole. Hal, this is.. Jake. And he is not a potential sexual partner, or whatever, so shut your fucking robotic mouth before I disable your program."

I dont think I need to remind you how often you threaten to disable me, and yet here I am, still alive and well. Hello Jake. How is your leg? 

"It's.. its alright, I suppose?" Jake replied, clearly blustering at the odd interaction. Dirk grumbled something about how robots cant be alive  _or_ well, and turned down the volume on the car, driving off and hoping Jake wasn't too weirded out by the fact that he had an AI in his car that clearly had its own douchebag personality.

"Where to, Jake?" he asked, ignoring the red text that was appearing and the quiet robot voice rambling in the background. Jake blinked at the screen once more before turning to him and reciting an address, making Hal provide instructions to how to get there, which Dirk began following grudgingly. 

Jake struck up a conversation with Hal, and Dirk cursed Hal under his breath at every new line of red text. However, Jake seemed to be getting quite frustrated with the machine, probably infuriated by his vague answers and abrasive personality. Dirk couldn't blame him. He hated Hal just as much, but could never quite bring himself to delete the guy.

"You are quite infuriating, I must say!" Jake was proclaiming as Dirk pulled up to the address, unclipping his seatbelt and walking around to Jake's side of the car in order to pick him up and reassume the position they had while walking through the forest. 

"I cant say I like your car robot much, Dirk," Jake said as he rested his head against Dirk's shoulder, paling slightly, probably at the sudden pain in his leg after a relatively smooth journey.

"That makes two of us, then," Dirk replied, and the Brit seemed relieved to have not offended him. Just then, the door to what Dirk assumed was Jake's house burst open, and an absolutely huge woman rushed out, dark hair flying behind her. Jake smiled weakly at her, and Dirk got the feeling Jake was about to be on the receiving end of an angered rant.

"JAKE ENGLISH!" the woman almost yelled as she reached them. Yep, Dirk was right. "What the HELL were you thinking? You dont just fucking disappear like that! I was so fucking worried when I woke up and you were just  _gone!_ At least leave a fucking note if you're going to go gallivanting off and leave me!" Just then, she noticed his limp leg, and seemed to soften, bucktoothed scowl melting into a half-sympathetic grimace. "And now you've gone and got yourself hurt, plus roped a stranger into driving you home. For fucks sake, English! Have some common sense!"

"Hi," Dirk said quietly, and the woman looked up at him with blazing green eyes, that quickly turned interested and curious. 

"You dont know Dave Strider, do you?" she asked curiously, and when Dirk nodded, her face spread into a wide smile. "Hi! I'm Jade Harley, I'm this doofuses cousin! Sorry he dragged you out here, he can be a doof at times. Most times."

"Hey! I'm right here, you know!" Jake protested from his position in Dirk's arms, and Jade simply laughed.

"I'm Dirk," Dirk supplied. "Dirk Strider. Dave's my lil bro." Internally, something inside him was hugely pleased that Jade wasn't any kind of romantic interest for Jake, but he pushed that feeling aside in lieu of being happy he had helped a stranger. "And it was no trouble to help him, I'm just glad I was there, or he probably could've been there for a long time. I dont think he knew you'd wake up."

"Still right here!" Jake reminded them, earning him two grins, at which he scowled. Jade held out her arms, into which Dirk deposited the indignant Jake, who scowled and grumbled to himself.

"Thanks for all your help, Dirk!" Jade said cheerfully. "Tell Dave I said hi!"

"I will," Dirk promised with a smile, and Jake cleared his throat, drawing Dirk's attention.

"Thanks for your help as well, Mr Strider," he said, with a wide grin that made Dirk's heart skip a beat. "I would be in quite the pickle if it weren't for you!"

"No problem. Sorry he woke you up, Jade. See you guys whenever, I guess." With a wave that only Jake returned - Jade kind of had her hands full with her cousin - Dirk turned and slid back into his car, ignoring Hal's message until he was quite a way from Jake's house.

You didnt get his number. That's surprising, based on the way you looked at him I'd say - even if he wasn't - you'd quite like him to be a sexual partner. Any particular reason, Dirk? 

Groaning, Dirk cursed himself and began muttering under his breath about how much of an idiot he was. He kept muttering until he returned home, only stopping to scribble a note for Dave about how he met Jade and she sent her hello on a post-it, sticking it to Daves bedroom door where he knew it'd probably be found.

He went to sleep that night hoping Jake was alright, and awoke at past midday to a flashing message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hello there! Ive been informed this is the number of one dirk strider! Jade coerced dave into telling her your number, i hope you dont view that as too much of a privacy violation! Id just like to thank you again for all your help, and ask if youd maybe like to meet up at some point? Itd be swell to get to know the guy who saved my behind recently! 

As Dirk stared at it and read the message, a disbelieving smile grew on his face, and just then another message pinged through.

Unknown Number: Oh goodness, im such a fucking dolt! This is jake, jake english! I hope this is dirk, or this is going to be rather embarrassing. 

Shaking his head, Dirk quickly typed out a response and lay back, waiting for the response.

Me: You've reached one Dirk Strider. This one Dirk Strider would indeed be interested in meeting up. Details? Or should I scour the internet for cryptids that when translated through eight different languages and three codes tells me your mother's maiden name and a location, but I have to fight a dragon for the time? That would be a little inconvenient. Details would be preferred. 

Unknown Number: Well i would hate for you to have to scour for cryptids! The coffee shop on the corner of the main street in town at three sound alright? 

Me: Sounds just excellent. See you then. 

Unknown Number: Indeed! My leg is all set and wrapped in a rather uncomfortable cast, so no worries there! See you this afternoon, mr strider! 

Before Dirk could bask in his glory at meeting up with the hot idiot Brit he met in possibly the worlds most unlikely circumstances, he was interrupted by red text from a robot he should have never given texting capabilities to.

Hal: I knew you were looking at him as a sexual partner. Once his leg is healed I'll provide mood music. Don't forget the condom. But I definitely wouldn't attempt any sexual moves until he's at least out of the cast, that likely isn't much of an aphrodisiac. Have fun on your date. 

Oh for fucks sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends,,, rlly awkwardly bc I had no way to end it and endings are my weak point anyways
> 
> Requests are always open, just comment and I'll get around to all of them. Only rule - no smut! Otherwise, anything goes!


	2. beta ot4 - soulmate colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John always expected the colours to appear all at once when he met The One.
> 
> He never expected it to be The Ones.

John began life like any other - seeing the world in a greyscale filter, only to see the wonder of colour when his soul reached out and found its other half. That's what happened with everybody. It's what always happened, its what nobody was able to explain, just that somehow there was always the one, the one that you were just always meant to be with, no matter what. It put a damper on silly childhood relationships, but it was the way things worked, and John never questioned it. No one did.

But John wondered every night, as he went to sleep in an empty bed surrounded by posters he would never remember and didnt really love much at all, what is love?

His father raised him well, raising him to be a fine young man that knew damn well his dad was proud of him. And then he was off, into the world, into a greyscale void where he knew no one and nothing, except that someday he would find The One, and everything would be alright, because he didnt want to spend his whole life feeling half, feeling empty, feeling grey. He wanted to see the blues and reds that those who had found their soulmates talked of so lovingly, wanted to see the greens and purples their soulmates described in response. 

But John was in college, and you could damn well focus on papers when they were in greyscale, so he got on with his life, and half forgot he even needed to find a soulmate, until that day.

He was walking through the endless halls and corridors, humming to himself as he held his papers close to his chest, thoughts of soulmates anywhere but on his mind. But then someone bumped into him, just a brush, and suddenly everything in front of him bloomed into brilliant colour. 

But... something seemed wrong. It was only one colour, in many different shades, like greyscale but.. not. The new colour made him think of anger. And he twisted and looked at the boy who brushed against him, saw wide eyes opening as a hand shoved dark sunglasses into pale hair. A name for the colour John was seeing clicked. Red. He was seeing red. But this wasn't what soulmates should be like, right? Where was purple? Where was green? Where was blue?

He was content with one colour for now, and that was how he met Dave. Dave Strider, the boy who always wore sunglasses despite never seeing colour before John - and Dave, too, described only seeing one colour, but the one he saw was blue. John couldn't help but feel jealous. Where was his blue? But he had red, and Daves eyes were the most gorgeous crimson, and he proclaimed them the most beautiful red of them all. 

It felt odd, seeing everything as though it was in a different filter than before, but it maybe felt even odder thinking his soulmate was a boy. People whose soulmates were boys when they were boys were still ostracised, despite how fucking ridiculous Dave said it was. His older brother Dirk's soulmate was a boy, a Brit named Jake who Dave said Dirk said was the most beautiful man in the world. Dave disagreed. He said John was the most beautiful man in the world, and it made Johns heart flutter and skip in all the right ways.

The two got used to their lives once again being in only one colour, and they graduated college and jumped at the chance to live together. Dave said they should decorate their apartment blue. John said red. They laughed, because no matter how they decorated it, it would look red and blue to them respectively. So they took the apartment as it came, both appreciating it despite it looking different in their eyes. 

Daves eyes were still the most beautiful crimson, and Dave said John's eyes were the most beautiful cerulean, but the word meant nothing when John didnt have a colour to associate it with. When he looked in the mirror he just saw red, like always, like everything. He was okay with that. The red of his eyes wasn't as pretty as the red of Dave's, but that was alright. Nothing was as pretty as the red of Dave's eyes.

They were holding hands when it happened, when the young woman walked in just the wrong direction and they split apart to let her pass through, but their fingers brushed against her arms at the same time, and suddenly John could see a whole new range of colours, and he turned to face the woman at the same time Dave did, the same time the woman turned to look at them. 

She had short purplish hair, and everything was still partly red, but now it was all partly purple as well, and she had eyes that John could only describe as lilac. It was the only word that felt right. And they learnt her name was Rose, and she too described Johns eyes as the most beautiful cerulean, and John was so, so happy when he saw Dave's eyes and they were the same crimson he remembered. 

And now he had Roses eyes, and they were the most dazzling lilac John could ever have imagined, and everything was beautiful. She moved into their apartment, and they felt almost complete. This must be what soulmates were like. All together as one, seeing colour, but something still felt wrong. There were still no greens, no blues. No yellows, oranges, pinks, anything, just gorgeous blends of purple and red and John was okay with that. 

But this was wrong, wasn't it? You weren't meant to have more than one soulmate. You just weren't. And every time John went out with one hand holding Rose's and one hand holding Dave's, they were jeered. Shouted at. Told they should just pick one. Told they were wrong. But Dave and John and Rose stood tall and proud, and only let themselves break down at home, where tears flowed, thick and heavy and red like the blood that John saw when he scratched too hard at his wrists, or the blood he saw when Rose's cat got too aggressive. And they each had two soulmates, but everything still felt wrong.

They kept telling each other how beautiful their eyes were. It kept them sane, kept them happy, as Dave made his music and John pursued his comedy and Rose wrote her books and they looked after one another and they just... worked. 

And then the last hugely important day in Johns life happened, all by chance. They were sitting in the park. Rose was reading a book, head lying on Dave's crossed legs as he ran his fingers through her hair and hummed along to some silent melody. John was sat beside them, half-asleep and working on comedy routines in his brain, when he was almost trampled by a massive dog bounding onto him. A voice called the dog back, and he opened his eyes to see dark hair and a bucktoothed smile leaning over him. The girl apologised, introduced herself - Jade. And she held out a hand to help John sit up after he had been winded by her hellhound of a dog, and he had taken her hand, and everything had changed. 

Green. Green everywhere. He'd have never guessed grass was green. He'd always seen it as a reddish purple. And his soulmates had stared at him, and the new one had stared at him, and he had gestured to them, and they had touched, and he knew they saw it too. And they all started talking non-stop, talking over one another and through one another and it all worked, and Jade moved in the very next week, bringing her dog with her - something Rose's cat wasn't happy about.

Jade's eyes were just as beautiful as Rose's or Dave's, and he was still so happy that their eyes all stayed the same. Dave's beautiful crimson and Rose's dazzling lilac and Jade's new gorgeous emerald. They were the most beautiful colours John could think of, even if he was told it was wrong to have so many soulmates. 

All he ever questioned was why it was so bad to have so many soulmates. He just got three times the love. If anything it was better. There were just more parts to himself that understood him and loved him and they all worked so perfectly. He joked and Dave mixed and Rose wrote and Jade studied and they all lived together and worked together and slept together in a huge tangled pile that was unbearably hot in the summer but John wouldn't give it up for the world.

He was surprised it took so long. One day, the four of them were just cuddled up on the sofa, tangled together in a mess of limbs and bodies and love, and he just felt such a rush of adoration and love for every one of them that it was like everything clicked into place, and suddenly he could see everything, and it all made sense. 

He could see every single colour. All the colours you're meant to see when you find The One, but for him it was The Ones, and that was okay. Because now he could see the light pink that Rose turned when they complimented her, he could see the smooth caramel of Jade's skin, he could see the light blonde of Dave's hair, and he loved every single bit of it. Their eyes stayed the same. Their eyes stayed the adored emerald and lilac and crimson, and he couldn't be happier.

And now John could look in the mirror, and see his own coffee-coloured skin, and his own dark brown hair, and behind his glasses he could see the eyes that his soulmates constantly described as cerulean, as stunning, as beautiful, and he loved it so much he nearly cried, and when his soulmates found him just staring at his own eyes, studying them, he did cry, because he loved them all so much and thanks to them he could finally see the eyes that had been complimented since that fateful day in college, since the day everything turned red. 

It was hard, dealing with the bullshit people threw at them when they saw four people holding hands in a line, or the four of them trading kisses, but it was beautiful to them and they all loved it, and each other. John's dad couldn't have been prouder. Rose's mom adored them, and Jade's grandpa loved them, and Dave's brother Dirk and his soulmate couldn't be happier, and neither could Rose's cousin Roxy and her soulmate, and they were the happiest bunch of outcasts you could ever meet. 

John was the smallest, and that was okay, because he was always on the top of the Love Piles, as they were affectionately dubbed, where one unlucky piece of their shared soul would be chosen to pile upon in a giggling mass of adults acting like little kids. And Jade was the biggest, and her arms were so huge and muscled that she could pick all three of her smaller lovers up off the ground with ease, and they all adored her for it. Rose was the smartest, they didnt even need to say that out loud. And Dave was, little did he know it, the most emotional, best at understanding and advising, even if he wasn't the must emotional dude.

And John could hardly believe that he used to see the world in greyscale, that he was never privy to the gorgeous colours that decorated their apartment and each other, and he finally understood why so many people with soulmates looked at one another like they were the universe, because his soulmates fucking were the universe, they were his everything, and he couldn't imagine just having one.

Because he got three sets of eyes, and he got to have three moments of realisation when colour bloomed before his eyes, and he got the gorgeous delicate lilac of Rose's darkly outlined eyes, and the bright cheerful emerald of Jade's naturally smiling eyes, and the deep brooding crimson of Dave's often shaded eyes, despite how often his soulmates begged for him to show his eyes more.

And John had his own eyes, and his soulmates constantly called them beautiful so of course he believed they were, because Dave and Rose and Jade were the smartest people on the planet and if somebody had told him that they had hung the stars in the sky he'd have told them to fuck off and stop telling him things he already knew. 

And fuck the people who jeered and laughed at them for them being a four, because they got three times the love, and it just meant that their soul and their bond was so strong it had to be split across four people rather than just two.

And John believed every night, as he drifted to sleep in a pile of blankets and sleepy, gorgeous bodies that he loved so much, that this is what love is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests always open!


	3. dirkjade - why are you so oblivious???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Jade's best efforts, Dirk just doesn't realise she's trying to ask him out, until Dave and Karkat get frustrated enough to take matters into their own hands.

Jade liked to think she was pretty good at staying collected, even when she got excited, but the longer this went on, the more flustered and frustrated she got, because Dirk just would not notice the hints she was dropping left, right and centre. And it was just so infuriating!! He made her get too blushy and awkward to ask him outright, and then once he left she just got annoyed with herself for not outright asking him, and he seemed completely unbothered by it all!

So, naturally, she had enlisted his brothers help, but with Dave came Karkat, and somehow she ended up with two entirely unhelpful dudes making a plan with her to be her "wingmen", but based on how long it took Dave to actually ask Karkat out, she didnt have the highest hopes that she'd actually get anywhere with their help.

And yet somehow she managed to ask Dirk to hang out - just as friends, of course - and Dave and Karkat had come along, hanging just far enough back that Dirk didnt notice them, but close enough that it made Jade self conscious.

"So, uh, Dirk," Jade started when they were sat on a bench eating ice creams, which certainly felt like more than just a friendly thing to do. "Being friends is loads of fun!!"

"Yeah?" Dirk responded, raising one eyebrow over the shades he had on like always. Jade went a little red and busied herself with licking a drip of ice cream off her finger, acutely aware that Dave and Karkat were lurking somewhere, probably listening in.

"But, well, would you maybe wanna be something more??" Jade managed, peeking up at Dirk over her ice cream. He seemed unbothered, just continuing to lick at his ice cream, as though he was considering the proposition, and Jade's heart skipped with optimism. 

"Like best friends?" the blond asked after a moment, and Jade's heart dropped. She should have seen that coming. "Sorry, but I already gave that position to Jake. But I guess thats more best bros?"

"Yeah, we can be best friends," Jade mumbled, tracing a line in the dirt with her foot. Dirk looked at her, blinking behind his shades.

"Wait, did you not mean best friends?" he asked, eyebrows knitting together. Jade laughed cheerily, forcing herself to grin, but when she turned and looked at Dirk's worried face, she couldn't help but melt into a flustered puddle and bury her face into her ice cream, painfully aware of how red her cheeks were burning. 

When she calmed herself and lifted her head, she was met with a chuckling Dirk, whose darkened gaze was fixed on her nose, and she attempted to see what it was that was making him so interested and making her nose feel so cold. "What?" she asked, going cross-eyed in an attempt to view whatever it was was on her nose. 

Dirk laughed again and reached out, holding her face in his hand and using his thumb to wipe away whatever it was, before popping his thumb into his mouth, which only served to make Jade turn even redder and stare at him. "You had ice cream on your nose," he explained when he saw her stare, and Jade averted her gaze quickly in an attempt to not appear creepy.

They returned to licking their ice creams in silence, and all of a sudden Jade was made aware of Dirk's hand laying by his side invitingly, in just the right place for her to casually grab it, and her fingers itched with the urge to interlock them with the blonds. But she restrained herself, telling herself when she finally asked Dirk on a date she would be able to hold hands with him all she liked.

They turned towards each other at the same time, and spoke at the same time too, immediately apologising. 

"So-"

"So-"

"Sorry! You can go first!"

"No, no, its okay, you go first."

"I insist!"

"Ladies first, Jade!"

Both of them started laughing, Jade snorting and giggling while Dirk chuckled quietly, at the ridiculousness of the exchange, but both fell quiet afterwards, assuming the other would take the initiative and speak first, but there was just a few moments of silence before it was broken by an oh-so-familiar voice.

"OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

Both of them turned to see where the voice had come from, and were met with the sight of a frustrated-looking Dave stomping towards them, quickly followed by an angrily muttering Karkat. 

"Look, dude!" Dave said exasperatedly as he reached them, Karkat getting there a few seconds later and folding his arms in order to glower at them. "Jade is 100% trying to ask your oblivious ass out, so if you would just stop pretending that whatever you're doing right now  _isn't_ a date, that would be great. Alright?"

Dirk blinked at his brother and then at Jade, who was bright red and currently staring at her lap. "Jade?" he asked, curiously, not angrily, and Jade looked up. "That true?"

"Of course its fucking true!" Karkat interjected before Jade had a chance to answer, earning him a green-eyed scowl, which he returned wholeheartedly, before continuing on his rant. "She's been trying to ask you on a fucking date for months now, but something about your stupid oblivious ass makes her too fucking embarrassed to actually come out and say it, so the two of you are skirting around the fucking obvious like you're in a shitty low-budget romcom which takes  _way_ too fucking long to get to the plot, so if you shitheads would actually fucking make some bullshit official already that'd be fucking  _great,_ AND spare the rest of us the headache of having to deal with your romantically confused shit-munching selves all the time!"

Everyone went quiet for a second, and Jade dreaded Dirk's response. What she was definitely not expecting was for him to burst into genuine laughter, but that's exactly what happened. She could've sworn tears were collecting in his eyes as he laughed his ass off, chortling and snortling and other laughs that didn't end with ortling, his shoulder shaking with the giggles, basically shaking the whole bench with the strength of his laughter. The other three stared at him for a second, before Karkat slammed his hands down on the back of the bench.

"I'm fucking done!" he announced, turning around and storming away, and Dave stared after him, before looking back at Jade, whose mouth was hanging open, and his brother, who was starting to calm down.

"Fix your shit, alright?" he said, back to his usual almost-monotone, before shoving his hands in his pockets and following his boyfriend on his enraged tantrum, leaving Dirk and Jade looking at each other awkwardly.

"If you wanted to ask me on a date you could've just asked, you know," Dirk said, amused, as though he hadn't just had a huge laughing fit and now had tears of laughter rolling down his face and a huge goofy smile on his face. The expression certainly looked unusual on him, and when he noticed he quickly wiped away the happy tears and rearranged his features into a stoic blank look.

"You're kidding me, right??" Jade asked, jaw still hanging slack, slowly becoming aware of the remainder of her ice cream dripping down the cone and over her fingers. 

Dirk shook his head, and she let out a loud  _fuck!!_ before quickly catching the drips of ice cream on her tongue that were about to land on her skirt. After a moment, she noticed Dirk was watching her, and turned a little red again, looking at him and raising an eyebrow in question.

"What would you do if I said yes?" Dirk asked casually, catching the drips off his own ice cream now he had asked his question, as Jade just stared at him.

"Probably this?" she asked, making Dirks head turn in question, before she leaned forward and pressed a vanilla-flavoured kiss to his cheek, pleased by the light pink Dirk's cheeks turned when she sat back, bright red herself, but around Dirk that appeared to be a running theme. 

Dirk hummed, clearly pleased, and looked at her. "Then in response, I'd probably do this," he said, and Jade had a moment to wonder what he meant before his lips were on hers in a quick kiss that was over far too quickly before he pulled back, leaving her bright red and with ice cream on her lips.

"I'm assuming that's a yes then?" she breathed, every nerve in her body on fire, adjusting her glasses in a nervous, quick movement that didn't suit her, but she was too overwhelmed to be her normal cheerful self.

"It was always gonna be a yes," Dirk said in response, with a grin, and she looked away with a grin and chose to eat her ice cream cone instead of replying, but she didn't stop herself from entwining her fingers with Dirk's, and couldn't be happier when he squeezed her hand in response. 

They finished the rest of their hanging out time as an official date, and held hands the entire time, and no, Jade hardly stopped blushing once. And that night, she was bombarded with red and grey messages asking her whether she had finally sorted her shit, and with memories of kisses on her mind, she could reply with a resounding yes, yes she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was up to the requesters standards! I dont write Jade much, aha
> 
> Requests always open!


	4. rose - who is the therapists therapist?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has been her friends therapist for a long time, but who is to be her shoulder to cry on when she is always the one offering her shoulder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose Lalonde is important to me  
> And this is probably ooc so I'm sorry but its 2am give me a break

For as long as she can remember, Rose has been her friends therapist and psychiatrist, because they needed her, and she liked the feeling of helping the people she loved so much. It helped her feel accepted as one of them, knowing that she could help them in such a way, and that she'd often be the one they turned to in times of crisis.

She just liked helping people, she supposed. It was in her chumhandle - tentacleTherapist. It was a part of her. Even when Sburb happened, and they were thrown into a world of fighting and pain that none of them asked to be a part of, she was still trying to help, updating that walkthrough in order to assist people she didn't even know and likely never would, but she was Rose Lalonde, the sarcastic tentacle therapist, and she helped her friends, and she couldn't help her mother, but that was okay because when Roxy came along she found her mother in someone else and everyone was happy.

But Rose didn't feel happy.

She had been grimdark, and that had terrified her. The feeling of darkness clouding her every sense, her every nerve, clogging her brain and throat and ensnaring itself deep in her heart. That wasn't Rose Lalonde. That was fear, and confusion, and anger, and depression, all mixed up in one big mess that tangled her thoughts and garbled her speech and her mother was dead and that terrified her. It wasn't an enjoyable sensation.

She had recovered, and moved on, but she had never truly rid herself of the feeling of darkness trapping her airway, snarling around her lungs, encompassing her being until she could hardly think.

But she had her friends, and she liked to think she still helped them, even when they were growing, faster than she and stronger than she and all she could do was be their therapist, like she had always been, like she still was, like she still tried to be. But more and more she doubted how much she truly helped.

And then alcohol had entered her life, and it was as though she had discovered a solution to all her problems, compressed into little bottles full of clear liquid that sloshed about when she shook it and made her giggle when she was really drunk. And the alcohol clouded her mind, almost like the grimdark had, but it felt different, the drunk clouds felt fuzzy and foggy while grimdark had felt cold and, well, dark. 

She knew she was no good to her friends drunk, but that didn't stop her chasing the sensation, desperate to just taste the sweet elixir on her lips, like the wizard potions she remembered from her childhood, and these clogged her mind and throat just enough to make her not care, to make her forget that she wasn't helping her friends anymore, that they likely didnt need her anymore, because those were the thoughts that lingered when she was sober and terrified her, almost as much as seeing her mother's dead body had. 

And at the same time, Rose Lalonde was falling in love, with gorgeous grey skin and a green lipstick and curved horns and fangs and long red skirts and green blood and oh god she was in love.

But she was in love with the alcohol as well, even though she knew it was destroying her, and Kanaya would not destroy her, but she couldn't stay away. Addiction is a scary thing.

It felt like a flash until the game was won, and somehow she was wearing a suit next to the same gorgeous grey skin and curved horns she had fallen in love with, and Kanaya was wearing a beautiful white dress, and she was in love and she was married and everything was beautiful. But worries still ate at her insides, still tore their curved claws into her flesh, and they weren't beautiful curved claws like Kanaya sported, they were cold and unforgiving and ripped her open with anxiety and self-doubt and Rose Lalonde was not used to this feeling, but she continued anyway.

She couldn't just quit being her friends therapist. So she listened to their problems, advised on their situations, and sunk slowly into a pit of her own issues that nobody but Kanaya seemed to notice, because Strilondes were Strilondes and had long since perfected the art of masking their true emotions. 

Having Roxy around helped. She could talk to Roxy. It was like the mother she never had, the sister she never had and the confidant she never had all rolled into one bubblegum-pink package. She could tell Roxy things she couldn't tell Kanaya, not for fear of how her gorgeous wife would react, but for want to not worry her. But Roxy listened, and Roxy didn't judge, and she soothed and petted and somehow understood.

Rose couldn't tell if she was improving, because she had never felt this before. She was always too busy helping her friends to really notice her own brain hard at work to keep her happy, or at the very least somewhat indifferent. But now her friends were spread across the globe, and she hardly ever saw them, and she had enough time alone to sink into what the psychiatrist part of her recognised as depression. 

She knew Kanaya worried. She knew Roxy worried. She couldn't bring herself to worry.

So slowly, Rose Lalonde began to wonder. She wondered if she spent her whole life helping others, who was supposed to help her? Where do you go for help when the only people who know your problems are your ectobiological mother from another timeline and your alien wife, both of whom try their best but can never quite reach through the wall you put up around yourself in impenetrable defence? 

And the biggest wonder of all. When you're an immortal who can only die a hero or a villain, how do you kill yourself?

Roxy and Kanaya could only help so much, much as she adored them. They were the two brightest lights in Roses life - in Kanaya's case, literally. But they could only go so far, and then Rose was in over her head, drowning in a depression that she could only relate to her time being grimdark, an all-encompassing cold darkness that twisted itself into every thought that passed through her head. And it terrified her.

For as long as she could remember, Rose had been her friends therapist. But when you're always the therapist, who is supposed to help you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like,, 25 minutes and now im tired as shit  
> Sorry if this is ooc yet again
> 
> Requests always open!


	5. davekat - everything i love about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat spend some quality time together post-game.

"Come join the Strider cuddle pile, dude,"

Karkat glared at Dave from the kitchen as he popped popcorn and tried his best to passive-aggressively ignore Dave's request to "join the cuddle pile". Besides, it was hardly a pile when it only consisted of Dave and some blankets. 

"I swear to whatever god is controlling this fucking shit-ass world we live in, if you talk through this movie I will rip your human dick off and shove it down your throat," Karkat warned as he returned with a bowl of hot popcorn and one of Daves apple juices, but his boyfriend only chuckled and grabbed Karkat around his waist, making the troll squeak as he was forcibly sat down on the couch, the popcorn spilling over a little. He shot Dave a glare, coupled with a growl, but Dave only leaned forward and nuzzled their noses together, and Karkat couldnt do anything but purr contentedly at the contact.

They settled into the customary Strider-Vantas movie night cuddling position, with Karkat wrapping his arms around Daves torso and snuggling into his chest as Dave fed him popcorn and kept one arm protectively around his shoulders. Occasionally they would switch and Dave would lie with his head on Karkats knees, but it wasn't like either of them minded. They adored one another no matter what position they cuddled in. 

"You know you mentioned whatever god controls this world?" Dave asked, as the opening scenes of Mean Female Trolls started up. Karkat made a humming noise in response, eyes already fixated on the screen. "You realise I'm a god of this universe, right?"

"Oh for fucks sake," Karkat mumbled, burying his head in Daves chest, and was rewarded with the rumbling of Daves body as he laughed. 

"You forgot I'm a god? I'm so offended. I can't believe your nubby little ass would just straight up forget you're dating a goddamned god. I control time, bitch. Y'all best be scared."

Karkat kept his face pressed into Daves side for a few moments before he sighed and turned to face the TV again. "One of the other gods, fuckass. Now shut up and let me watch my goddamned movie."

They fell into easy silence, Dave running his fingers through Karkats coarse mess of hair in a feeble attempt to comb it, and only serving to make his fingers ache. Instead he gently massaged Karkats nubby little horns, being rewarded by the troll purring gently under his breath, seemingly hardly aware he was even doing it. All the tension seemed to leech from Karkats body when they cuddled and watched movies, and it was like he was a cat that constantly puffed itself up to look intimidating, but when it was relaxed it turned into a tiny fuzzy kitten that couldn't hurt a fly.

Actually, that was probably a perfect analogy for Karkat. Karcat. Beep beep meow.

Leaning down, Dave pressed a kiss between Karkats horns, and was met with the troll twisting round to look at him, face relaxed and sleepy. "Whuzzat for?" he asked sleepily, and Dave smirked. It had only been... thirty-four minutes and sixteen seconds, and Karkitty was already getting sleepy. He guessed that's what came from being a troll insomniac and not sleeping for a week or whatever. When you were petted by your great human boyfriend you just turned into a sleepy kitty.

"I dont tell you how adorable you are enough," Dave told him with a completely straight face, and got to watch as Karkat processed the information. 

"Quit it with the affectionate bullshit, Strider," Karkles told Dave calmly, but the human could tell he was getting flustered by the way the tips of his alien ears were going bright red, and the way his cheeks were slowly colouring in candy red.

"Aww, cmon Kittycat, you know you love me. I'm just telling my adorable alien boyfriend how cute he is. Sue me."

"One of my best friends is a lawyer," Karkat retorted dryly, and Dave winced jokingly.

"She's one of my best friends too, but I guess suing isn't the best route to go. How about you kiss me instead?"

Giving Karkat his best seductive face, which quickly melted into a goofy smile, Dave lifted up his sunglasses and flashed Karkat a quick wink, which earned him an eye-roll and a quick peck on the cheek, before Karkles settled back into his position of nuzzling Daves side.

"Now let me watch my fucking movie, okay?" Karkat said, clearly attempting to sound angry, but his words came out soft and mushy instead, garbled by the affection he was currently feeling towards Dave. He hated when the human got like this. He got all mushy and gooey and affectionate and inevitably made Karkat all flustered, which was normally fine, but he was trying to focus!

"You've seen Mean Female Trolls at least a thousand times, man," Dave said, a hint of amusement in his voice, but re-draped his arm around Karkat without complaint. The troll opened his mouth in a silent demand for popcorn, and Dave complied, shooting kernels into Karkats mouth like it was a game, which made Karkat roll his eyes yet again, but Dave heard the contented sigh that came out when he was eating.

They watched silently for a little longer, and Dave could tell Karkat was getting sleepy again, so he chose to speed up the process by once again attempting to comb the thick black locks on Karkats head, and massaging the candy-corn horns that he always insisted did  _not_ taste like candy corns, tempted as Dave always was to lick them. He had been informed by Kanaya that licking peoples horns was probably a violation of privacy, though, and given how touchy and neurotic Karkitty often was, he didnt want to risk it. Kitty had claws, and he didnt want those sharp yellow monster things anywhere near his fragile human skin.

Eventually, the movie reached its end, and Karkat made a little pleased harrumph, clearly happy that Dave had sat through all ninety-seven minutes with only a few complaints - probably a new record.

"Can I tell you everything I love about you now?" Dave asked, surprising even himself, and Karkat looked up at him with those beautiful yellow-orange eyes he loved so much, cheeks once again turning candy red.

"I'll humour you, Strider," he said in that beautiful scratchy voice, and Dave internally fistbumped himself. 

"Alright," Dave said, as seriously as he could. If he was doing something this gushy he was doing it the Strider way - with a totally straight face. Even if this was hella gay. "Well, for starters you fucking purr. And you fucking growl. And if that isn't the cutest shit I've ever seen I dont know what the fuck is, especially since you dont even know you're doing it half the time. And you're so fucking expressive and you dont take any shit, and boo, thats hells of sexy, let me tell you. You turn into this snuggly little shit when you're tired, and fuck if I know how to say no to those fucking puppy dog eyes. You pretend you hate my raps but cmon, I see your face when you listen to them, you totally think my rapping is hella sweet."

Karkat made a face but didnt deny it, and Dave counted that as a victory.

"You've got your nubby little horns, and your nubby little teeth, and you're just nubby in general, but its adorable? And it suits you. And you're so defensive about your dumb taste in movies, but its not as bad as Egberts or Englishs, so you're cool for now, Karkles. You're just.. Nubs McShouty, and this was a bad idea because I might have all the time in the world but if I listed  _every_ single thing I love about you then I'd definitely fucking use it all up. And romcoms are dumb but you're adorable, so it makes up for it."

And with that, Dave planted a kiss in the middle of Karkats forehead, who was definitely bright red at this point. And he didnt reply, just gaped open-mouthed at his human boyfriend, who started to feel slightly guilty.

"Did I break the Vantas?" he asked, tapping Karkat gently on the tip of his horn, but Karkat papped his hand away and put a hand on Daves cheek, using his other hand to shove Daves shades up into his hair, to be met with raised eyebrows and questioning crimson eyes. "Wow, violation of privacy much? Consent is important, Karkles."

"Shut the fuck up, Strider," Karkat mumbled, before leaning in and once again nuzzling their noses together. When they drew back he was still bright red, but now there was a light dusting of pink over Daves pale skin as well. "My turn."

"Your turn what? To get violated? I mean, if you're into that-"

"No! To tell you everything I love about you, shitdick!"

Dave fell silent, effectively shushed, and Karkat took a deep breath. "Yes, alright, I love your dumb fucking raps, but not enough to listen to them all the goddamn time like you always try and get me to do. And yes, I like cuddling with you, because your hands are perfect for holding and you're perfect to kiss and hold and it always feels like I'm part of a romance story with you because you make my thinkpan hurt and my stomach twist just by thinking about you and the only way I can think to describe that is love. And your dumbass sunglasses make you look fucking stupid, but I cant imagine you not having them, even if I do adore how bright your eyes are, and maybe your eyes make me feel like a little bit less of an outcast and a mutant, but that's not the only reason I love them. And I love your stupid fashion sense, and maybe I even love your stupid-ass metaphors a little bit, and you act so dumb I'm surprised my thinkpan hasn't fucking imploded from your stupidity, but you're also one of the cutest fucking people I know, and I cant imagine not having you. And I don't have all the time in the world because not all of us are lucky enough to be gods, but if I did then I'd be happy to spend all of it with you. Okay?"

Dave was attempting to not grin stupidly, and epically failing so far, but then Karkat had to go and ruin it. "And romcoms are not stupid, dumbass, so fix your fucking movie taste before I really do rip your human dick off and choke you with it."

At that, Dave's grin turned shit-eating and he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Kinky," he said with a smirk, and Karkat had to physically restrain himself from smacking his boyfriend round the face. 

Instead he settled back into his cuddling position, feeling sleepy again as soon as he snuggled into Dave. He could definitely fall asleep like this. Actually, he probably would. 

Karkat was just drifting off when he felt yet another kiss land between his horns, and when he looked up this time he saw Dave smiling down at him with such a loving expression he didnt think it should be allowed. 

"I love you, Karkat." he said softly, and Karkat purred softly and leant into him sleepily. Yeah, Strider was an infuriating douchebag who made way too many dick jokes and didnt deserve his good looks, but Karkat loved him. Deeply and truly, and he couldn't imagine life without the sarcastic blond human. He just needed to tell him that more. 

"I love you too, Dave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was super fun and cute to write!! I love Davekat honestly
> 
> Requests always open!


	6. davejohn - you only ever see him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John can't help but feel replaced, when he sees Dave laughing and joking with his new best friend, his new John, his new everything.

John had always thought that, even after the game ended and they were in... wherever they were going to be, it would always be just him and Dave. Him and his best bro. Him and... well, him and his crush, there was no denying that after the twentieth time he blushed and smiled for no reason just because Dave messaged him. 

But now the game had ended, and here they were, Earth but not Earth, and all John could think about was spending time with Dave, without the threat of imminent death looming over their heads, but the universe clearly had other plans, because now John had lost his best bro. Because all of Dave's attention was taken up by an annoyingly shouty troll with tiny horns that John was sure weren't meant to be that small.

And John just sort of felt... discarded. He never saw Dave without Karkat anymore. It was like the two of them were just bundled up into a neat little package, and John was just an errant letter valiantly trying to keep up. It was like Dave had forgotten him. All the times they had shared together, all the years of friendship, all of it was just taken, smooshed up and thrown off a cliff, only to be replaced with memories of movie night with Karkat, hanging out with Karkat, conversations with Karkat, Karkat this, Karkat that, Karkat Karkat Karkat.

Jealousy wasn't something John had ever really experienced before Sburb. He had had a pretty easy life relationships-wise. But now, now jealousy was eating him alive from the inside out, and it took everything John had to not shake Dave until he remembered all the good times they had before Karkat came along, when they were just communicating across the country via messages and video calls, and yet John could still remember every time he had made Dave laugh, every call they had shared, so why couldn't Dave? Why was John suddenly so useless to him?

The brunet had taken to sitting on the edge of a cliff, tossing pebbles at the larger rocks below and not caring if he fell, because if he did then he would just revive after a while, wouldn't he? So he couldn't even kill himself to get rid of the heartbreak he felt every time he saw Dave and Karkat together, laughing, happy, without him.

The wind moved around him, tried to comfort him, and he smiled, because his connection with the wind was one of the great things that bloomed from the game. Too bad wind couldn't fix a broken heart.

Besides, even if John fell he'd probably instinctively float. It had become a habit to float everywhere, but that was slightly ruined when wherever he floated, he seemed to be plagued with a blond human and a short troll having fun, muttering and laughing together about things John could never hear, no matter how hard he strained. Whatever. He didnt need to hear them anyway. He didnt need to have fun. Especially not with his best bro. Who would ever need that?

As he tossed another pebble, he realised he had been mumbling to himself, and what's more that his voice had been cracking, and there were currently tears welling up behind his glasses, because of course he could fly and control the wind but his eyesight was still shitty. 

His arm stilled as he reached for another pebble, and then he was staring blankly as the first tears started to roll down his cheeks, leaving trails that felt hot against the cold his body had gathered from the biting wind, because even his aspect hated him, it seemed. No, that was mean. The wind was comforting. It was like a parent and an extension of his own being all at once. 

Before he knew it, John had his head in his hands and was sobbing silently, shoulders shaking with the quiet, muffled sobs. He just wanted his best friend back. Was that too much to ask? He didnt even want him as a romantic partner - well, he did - he just wanted him back in his life, wanted Dave to love him as much as he loved Karkat.

He didnt know how long he sat like that, crying as his legs dangled fifty feet above jagged rocks that would probably run him to pieces if he wasn't a natural flier, but it was long enough for his eyes to turn red and puffy, and his nose to start running grossly, and like the heartbroken dramatic he was, he blew his nose on the end of his god tier hood. He instantly regretted it, of course. He had defiled the windsock. Blasphemy.

But just then he really couldn't care much, because emotions were shitty and jealousy was tearing him up more than he could care about a goddamned windsock. 

And then he had felt a hand on his back, and everything felt like it went into slow motion, because he would know that hand anywhere. He had fantasised about holding it enough times.

Desperately trying to calm himself now the source of his emotional angst was sitting down right next to him, John scrubbed desperately at his eyes in an attempt to rid himself of the signs of crying, as though it wasn't already obvious what he had been doing.

"What do you want?" he mumbled, refusing to look at the Strider sat next to him, but out of the corner of his eye he could see surprise briefly cross Daves face. 

"I wanna know what's wrong," Dave said bluntly. "I'm not just gonna let you sit here and cry out all those little Egbertian tears until you pass out and fall off this cliff and die. I mean, you'd come back, but dying isn't a pleasant experience, and we've all done quite enough of it. So. Sit back, relax, and tell daddy Strider all your woes, young Egbutt. I'm all ears."

Sniffing, John shifted away so he was facing Dave a little less, even though he knew it was childish of him. "I dont want to talk to you," he muttered, scowling to himself, and was quite pleased when Daves eyebrows all but disappeared into his hair.

"Whoa, man, now that is just hella uncool," the blond said, as calmly as he could, but John could tell he was rattled. "What did daddy Strider do? Was it calling myself daddy Strider? What would you prefer, papa? Pops? Sensei? Didnt you say you liked anime ages ago? Doki dokis and all that shit. Cmon, dude, what's wrong? I dont like seeing the Egderp sad."

"Why have you fucking forgotten me then?!" John burst out, before settling back into his scowl. Dave opened his mouth to say something, before closing it again, and eventually opening it again. 

"What?" he asked, too quietly, sounding smaller and weaker than Dave Strider had any right to.

"You heard me," John replied, wishing he had the courage to just get up and fly off. Instead he stayed, firmly planted on the ground, digging his fingernails into the dirt with emotions. And after a few moments of silence, he chanced a glance at Dave.

And he fucking laughed. Dave fucking Strider had the audacity to laugh, even as he tore through Johns heart with every chuckle. "Of course I haven't forgotten you!" he said, back to his normal confident voice. "You're still front and centre in the Cool Kid Memory Bank, right up there next to irony and broken swords. Why the hell would you think I've forgotten you?"

"Because you've been  _ignoring_ me!" John almost yelled, and took a millisecond to see the shocked look on Dave's face. "And you've only wanted to be with Karkat, and every time I see you I almost cry, and you've completely forgotten everything good we've ever done together over years in favour of a troll you've essentially just met, and I feel fucking replaced! And... And... and..." And he could hear his voice cracking and getting higher in pitch, and he was vaguely aware of tears yet again spilling down his cheeks, and he could feel his heart breaking all over again, and his voice trailed off until he was just staring at his knees, and he was made aware of his own fingernails digging deeply into his wrist, and oh fuck was Dave crying?

"I thought _you_ were ignoring _me_ ," Dave said quietly, back to the voice that sounded way too weak for a Strider, the voice that cracked in all the wrong places and didnt belong. 

"I..." John didnt have a response for that.

"John, best bros is great, but did you ever consider I wanted one best bro and one more than best bro?"

"What do you-" Oh.  _Oh._ "You have a crush on Karkat." Wow, that hurt more than John hoped.

"What? No!"

"Then... What? Who?"

"I'll show you."

John was expecting Dave to take his hand and fly off to show him his crush. The Strider achieved step one - taking the hand. But instead of floating off the ground, he leaned in, and suddenly it felt like John was floating off the ground, because Dave  _motherfucking_ Strider was kissing him and it felt like everything was on fire and everything was beautiful all at the same time. 

Their glasses clacked together and Johns teeth accidentally scraped Daves lip but it was beautiful, everything that he had imagined but better, and when Dave finally pulled away and pushed his shades up it was far too soon. 

"Do you get it?" he asked softly, but it wasn't the pathetic scared soft his voice had been before, it was a gentle soft that warmed Johns heart. John suddenly noticed how warm his face felt.

"I.. Think so. God, Dave, I'm sorry, I should've just talked to you but I was so jealous and scared and-" And then Dave cut him off with another kiss, and his apologies melted into Dave's mouth. 

And he was still heartbroken but it was mending fast, and somewhere in Johns mind he knew Dave liked him, and they could be together, and he would have his best friend back, but this time in the relationship he had dreamed of for years.

He could wait a little bit longer for this kiss to be over to officially ask him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was alright to the requester! 
> 
> Requests always open!


	7. jakejohn - i love movies but i love you more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and John cuddle, talk, and goof around like the nerds they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash for windicuffs dont touch me  
> I'm trash for,, too many ships
> 
> (this is non-sburb and theyre not related in case anyone was gonna come @ me abt ecto-incest but i mean if stridercest is a thing i can ship my movie nerds)

John bustled here and there, locating their favourite movies in the extensive collection and picking them out, while his lover laid on the couch, watching his boyfriend move to and fro lazily. 

Eventually John placed a movie in the DVD player and moved back towards the couch, yelping in surprise as muscled arms threaded around his stomach and pulled him into a close, affectionate embrace. Jake nuzzled his face into Johns mess of black curls, humming contentedly.

"I really do love you, you know that, John?" he said, in that English accent that made Johns knees go weak, and the smaller man chuckled, picking up the remote and pressing play on the movie before shifting position so they were both comfortably cuddled together, tracing circles on Jake's defined collarbone.

"Of course I do," he said absentmindedly as the film started up, resting his head after pressing a kiss to his boyfriends neck, earning him a returned kiss to his head.

They watched the movie in relative silence, both just basking in one another's presence, and glad that neither of them were talkative enough to interrupt the mastery that was Ghostbusters. Had it been anyone else, the movie would have been drowned out by sarcastic comments and chatter. It was just one of the many things they loved about one another.

At some point, Jake had taken to running his fingers absentmindedly through Johns hair, plaiting small locks of it before running his fingers through the curls and cowlicks that were produced. It was oddly relaxing, for both of them, and the Brit hardly realised he was doing it until every trace of gel had been worked out of Johns curly mop, and the film was drawing to a close. When he pressed his nose into Johns hair to press kisses to his head his hair smelt like it always did, like strawberries and cake. It was a scent that was undeniably Egbertian, as Dave would say. 

As the credits rolled, neither man found themselves particularly inclined to get up and change the disk, so they sat quietly before John spoke up. 

"We should really invest in Netflix," he said with an adorable wrinkle in his nose that sent Jake's heart fluttering, before he let out a short laugh.

"Or we could always convince the Striders to tell us their password?" the Brit suggested, a dorky grin across his face, that in turn sent Johns heart fluttering. God, they both had it bad. 

"I've been trying for years. No-go on Dave."

"Ah, I'll turn on the charm. Dirk just cant resist my masculine wiles!"

John giggled and twisted round so he was facing his boyfriend properly, who stuck his tongue out. "Dirk better not be stealing my boyfriend from me!" he said, sticking his tongue out in response, and when he put it back in its proper place - his mouth - Jake leant forwards and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I'd never betray you, my dearest," Jake said when he pulled back, playing up his English accent so that John giggled again. 

"Good, you'd better not! I was just getting to like you as well."

"Only just!? Shucks buster, I've been misinterpreting this whole relationship! Apologies, good sir!"

With that, Jake unceremoniously picked his smaller boyfriend up and dumped him on the floor with a grin, who squeaked as he hit the floor before shooting a playful glare at the other, who was currently chuckling to himself, but not for long. John's hand shot out and grabbed his ankle, yanking it with a strength someone that small shouldn't possess, and pulling Jake off the sofa to land with a thump on the ground next to him, scowling cheerfully.

"Never underestimate the pranking master, Jake!" John cheered, smirking at Jake, who smirked back.

"You won't be laughing about that for long, darling!" Jake proclaimed, but before John could process what that meant, his boyfriend was leaping at him, tickling his sides mercilessly, and John let out a shout of laughter before descending into giggles that only got louder and snortier the longer Jake kept up his relentless attack. Jake was laughing too as he attacked Johns sides and armpits, tickling away relentlessly until his hands got tired, when he eventually saw fit to release John from the flurry of tickles.

Too out of breath to complain, John just lay there on the carpet beside Jake, staring up at the ceiling and panting slightly. After a moment he reached for Jake's hand, which had been lying between them, and held it tightly, like if he didnt then Jake would float away and disappear. The bigger boyfriend looked at his smaller lover in surprise, before smiling and pressing a kiss to each of Johns knuckles, before returning to staring at the ceiling.

The Ghostbusters DVD menu screen played in the background, and John felt like this was perfect for them, summed them up as a relationship almost. Out of breath after tickle wars, lying on the floor holding hands and staring at the ceiling as a movie menu played on loop, two pairs of glasses skewiff and two nerds very much in love. 

"I really do love you too, Jake," John said to break the silence, giving Jake's hand a loving squeeze, which was promptly returned.

"Well, I'm jolly glad the sentiment is returned, or this might be quite an awkward realisation and confession of not-love," Jake said, in that silly way he had of speaking that made John snort and roll over just so he could see the guy staring upwards, chest rising and falling, and his face looked so beautiful that John couldn't help but shift a little and press a kiss to it, and it made Jake turn to look at him with his mouth in a little o. 

They smiled at one another and leaned in for one last kiss, before returning to the oh-so-fascinating ceiling, squeezing each others hands every so often as if to say  _still here, still wildly in love with everything about you,_ but generally being quiet and just enjoying one anothers company.

Eventually, the drowsiness John had felt as Jake played with his hair returned, and he slowly slipped into a deep sleep, only being vaguely aware of Jake scooping him up before he conked out and went limp.

When he awoke briefly, he was cuddled in bed with his favourite muscular Englishman, who was fast asleep himself, and he was perfectly okay with that, so with a contented sigh he settled right back to sleep. God, he loved this man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends kinda awkwardly but its 2:45 am let me live (its pretty much always early morning when I write fic)
> 
> Requests always open!


	8. pesterlog - but daddy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John hates his friends. They love him too.

TG: i mean   
TG: he is daddy   
TG: id let him pound me into the ground anytime if you know what i mean   
EB: oh my god!!   
EB: >:((   
TG: i mean i didnt sleep last night and im even more exhausted than usual   
TG: excuse you egbert i will exploit my daddy kink all i like   
EB: go to sleep!   
TG: why were u exhausted ;))   
TG: ;)))   
TG: did u have fun with daddy ;;))  
TG: oh u know it   
EB: im platonically breaking up with both of you!   
EB: we are no longer even acquaintances   
TG: why would you   
TG: fuck u  
TG: we're just having fun daddy   
TG: daddio   
TG: papa   
TG: pops   
TG: daddy were sorry  
EB: never speak to me again   
TG: padre  
TG: daddy forgive us   
EB: oH mY gOd   
TG: parental male   
EB: disowning you   
TG: D:   
EB: you dont even use emotes!   
TG: anything for daddy   
EB: fuCk   
EB: bye   
TG: but daddy  
TG: daddy why   
TG: why dont you love us   
TG: daddy pls  
TG: we're your offspring be proud of us  
EB: please stop harassing me   
TG: DD::   
TG: daddy why dont you love me   
EB: dont you "DD::" at me   
TG: alright fine   
TG: DDD:::   
EB: thats it im packing up my bags and leaving   
EB: bye no more chances   
EB: see you in hell, you cretins   
TG: what about that sweet child money dont you love us   
TG: will you at least be my sugar daddy please im broke have mercy on my ass   
TG: daddy pls D;  
EB: in what world i have literally no money please i cannot do this   
TG: ;DDDDDADDDY  
EB: roxy please   
TG: da dDy   
TG: daddy the  
TG: dadddddyyyyyy~  
EB: is there some kind of adoption agency for kinks   
TG: dddaaaaaddyyydydyyy~~~~~~   
TG: you cant get rid of us   
TG: nop  
EB: im desperate   
TG: we are entrenched in this motherfucker way too deep   
EB: did this just turn into a horror movie?   
TG: you love us   
EB: I DO NOT   
TG: daddy you know you love us   
TG: wow rude   
TG: u love is  
TG: *us  
TG: daddy wiat  
EB: I HATE   
TG: why dont u lov me :((  
EB: YOU ARE OFFSPRING FROM LUCIFER HIMSELF   
TG: daddy youre lucifer   
TG: why didnt you tell us   
EB: jesus   
TG: daddy ur satan  
TG: daddy we love you anyway   
EB: im n ot your d ad   
TG: i beg to differ daddy  
TG: ^~^   
EB: never   
EB: never make that face again   
TG: OwO   
TG: ^////^   
EB: this is the worst   
TG: *nuzzles u* OwO daddy what's this? ~   
EB: get this trash out of my good christian suburbs   
TG: UwU <3 daddy  
EB: </3 no!!   
TG: :0  
TG: ;o;  
TG: daddy youve hurt me  
TG: D:   
EB: i do not give a single fuck   
TG: thats rude   
TG: daddy im sad  
TG: you shouldn't swear daddy  
TG: im leaving daddy  
EB: good!!   
TG: daddy youre a bad influence im gonna start doing a marijuanas   
TG: Just kidding~~~~~~~~ ^~^ <3 *tackle hug and nuzzle* ily daddy  
EB: do it maybe you'll be too high to torture me   
EB: oh my god why??!!   
TG: dave no a marijuanas is a bad  
TG: we'd never let you go daddy   
TG: or should i say weed never let you go   
EB: okay that was pretty good but im still not joining in   
EB: on principle   
TG: join the fuck in egbert   
TG: dave dont be rude  
TG: daddy doesn't like it when youre rude  
EB: yeah if im gonna go along with this you have to at least respect your elders   
TG: im so sorry daddy will you forgive me   
TG: daddy will have to punish you  
EB: no i will not!   
TG: but daddy hes been bad  
TG: oh no i hate when daddy punishes me   
EB: you guys are actually the worst oh my god   
TG: spank me daddy   
EB: why am i friends with you again??   
TG: because you loooove us  
EB: thats debatable!   
TG: yikes john that hurt me right in the heart hole   
EB: can someone please explain to me why i hang out with you two again    
TG: u luv us   
EB: sometimes    
TG: daddy    
EB: oh for fucks sake!    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'd like you all to know this is an actual conversation me and two of my friends had at 2am that I converted into pesterlog format and changed into homestuck characters  
> Lov em  
> If anyone's interested my messages turned into Daves
> 
> This is also why its lowkey ooc but hey we weren't rping or anything just being us
> 
> Requests always open!


	9. erisol - should i kill you or kiss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Sollux wants to kill him, and sometimes he wants to kiss him.

Sometimes Sollux wants to rip his throat out, wants to punch his dumb attractive face until it swelled with bruises and split his skin open, showed his blood and left Sollux triumphant and victorious, lording it over the one who constantly held himself over others.

Other times, Sollux wants to pull him close and press kisses all over that ridiculously sharp jawline, put their foreheads together and kiss, long and lazy, until he forgets his own name and forgets that he ever wants to kill the guy, forgets that he wants to do anything but kiss him. 

He has a goddamn harpoon gun in his apartment, the asshole, and sometimes Sollux wants to impale him on it. Shoot him with one of the fancy rifles he kept in glass cases, or beat him over the head with his signed copy of Harry Potter. Just... hurt him.

On the other hand, he wants to run his fingers through the violet streak in his hair and be on the receiving end of one of his rare, genuine smiles, and be able to smile back and know that he loved Sollux's fucked up teeth and he wouldn't laugh cruelly like so many people did - and like he had, in the past. 

But then just a little while later, Sollux will be wishing he could shove him off a cliff, drown him in the deepest depths of the ocean he loved so much, choke him with his own scarf or shove his beloved rings down his throat until he suffocates, and every time these thoughts flit through his mind Sollux has to act natural, because if he hints at the murderous intent his mind is apparently harbouring, the object of his hatred would probably stop coming over, or inviting him over, and he couldn't handle that. 

He especially couldn't handle it because when his mind flip-flops again he wants to do nothing more than hold him close, whisper soothing love into his ears when he cries and tease him about his dumb cape in a loving way, not a biting way.

And then there's the times where he means the teasing in a biting way, and something about the way that chiselled face crumples briefly before returning to haughty makes Sollux's stomach twist, because he is getting to him. 

It is only after Sollux has flipped a thousand times and he is sick of it that he realises something. Fuck choosing. He doesn't care how it goes.

He doesn't care how it goes, he just wants Eridan Ampora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short one, sorry
> 
> Requests always open!


End file.
